Caring... Why? or, Why Girls Are Better Than I Thought

It's very hard for me to care about people... I mean, I know I'm commanded to, and I want to, but I don't know how to make myself care.

Take, for example, let's say someone you don't really know is coming to visit. This guy knows your friends and so they're talking, but then let's say they have to go do something and so you're left to entertain this guy. He seems cool, you've talked a little bit with him about a new movie or video game. But when it comes down to asking him how he's doing or what's going on in his life, I could really care less. Has he just got a job promotion? Does he get to visit distant relatives in the near future? Has he just had a spiritual breakthrough? These are all things that are very important to a person and since we're striving to love as Christ loves, shouldn't it be important to us as well? The answer is obviously yes, but I don't know how to.

Something else I recently discussed was enjoying someone's presence when they're around, but not really minding or missing them at all when they're not there. I've found that I struggle with this a lot more than I'd admit, even with people really close to me. It's weird to think that people actually miss me when I'm not around because it's such a weird concept to me. If I'm not even so good as to care enough to miss someone, what would they see in me that would make them miss me? I don't feel like I'm that encouraging to people or that I go out of my way to show them they're important to me... or that I'm even especially useful or helpful to people.

Little things have been showing me that I do care a little bit - I'm getting better. Now that I think of it, there's been a lot of little things. To go into detail, the conversation was mostly about me struggling with not being able to see girls as good enough friends to want them around when they're not there. This has been proven false three times in the past 24 hours to me.
First, I woke up this morning and realized that I miss my friend Rachel from camp this summer - a lot more than I thought I did, so much so that I would even venture to say that being able to spend a few days with her would be one of the best things that could happen right now. She's like a big sister to me, and I feel closer to her than to my older step-sisters.
Second, my fellow interns Richell and Diana. I often shrug them off because they can be a little more girly or dramatic than I can handle at times. But they also have a very fun and caring side and I honestly do enjoy their company most of the time, it's just I was thinking that I didn't really mind not being in their company either. Wrong. Tonight a bunch of interns went out to dinner and it just didn't feel the same without them and I found myself wishing they were there. Strange.
Third, I find I'm missing my mom a lot as well. I just watched the movie AI tonight, and it's all about the robot child seeking love and acceptance from his mom and it made me appreciate my mom and miss her a lot.

Aside from those big three, a few more were brought to my mind. Amanda, for caring enough to read my blog and for providing a blog for me to read and learn from and even for stealing my "part 1 of ?" format, mimicry is flattery and all that. Also for being humble and forgiving for a strange misunderstanding we had last year. My cousin Michelle for just being rad and having a cool family - same with my other cousin Wendy and their mom, my aunt, LaVonne for just being weird and fun. The rest of the girls on intern and staff for being pleasant and great to work with.

Men are awesome, but women give birth to men so I must give credit where it is due. Women are truly better than I thought.