I want to sleep soundly again. To wake and be excited. I pretend to be happy. I pray for and seek real joy. Being home for the weekend is harder than I thought it would be. I can't keep coming back here.
If emotion were a physical object, I would craft myself a great hammer of an ancient oak and solid steel to lay the cruel beast on a mossy tree stump and, with one arcing swing, use every last bit of energy in my body to smash it and collapse to my knees to the sound of distorted guitars, watching gleefully with tears in my eyes as my anguish is seen flying in a thousand different directions, never to be collected and given me to carry again.
On a related and unrelated note:
The book of Job is amazing, I've never read through it before, just the beginning and the end, not the middle where the good stuff is. Job makes my suffering insignificant, I still like being able to relate in a small (over-dramatic) way. The dialog between he and his friends is amazing.
FETTY WAP vs THE AVALANCHES
8 years ago
3 comments:
Emotion can be immensely cruel and the struggle to let God be your daily source of joy is a big one. One I've wrestled with many times before and continue to today. I'll be praying for you, my friend.
Also, I read thru Job last month agree that it was spectacular. Makes you think twice about complaining when the world is at your fingertips it's also a huge encouragement to see Job make it through and a reminder that, ultimately, God is in control.
Thanks Amanda. :)
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